The thing about Things before THINGS were ever, really a Thing was that Gilbert Evan Evans was diagnosed with schizophrenia at an early age but really, he was a homo spiritus novum or ‘Superman’.
Not a superhero (yet), not a supervillain (yet) just a crazy guy that heard voices… things talked to Gilbert and said such odd things…
Gilbert manifested “Receptive Telepathy” at an early age and him hearing people’s thoughts confused him into interpreting objects around him talking to him.
“Mommy… why is the kitchen table worried about Dad finger-banging whores at the Bowling Alley?” a seven year old Gilbert asked his Mother at breakfast one Sunday morning to which she replied “Shut up and eat your gravy” she responded.
It was just one thing of the many an “undiagnosed schizophrenic” that Gilbert was bound to become. “A horrible waste of a beautiful tallent!” Colonel Brennan would later say sparking controversy at Congressional Hearings that would lead to full disclosure about Operation: Sick Mommy.
Bad Day at The Plastic Mines 
Wow there is a guy in daycare that acts just like that. Now I understand. Thanks.